Kids Transforming Gay Culture?

I came across an fascinating article in the November 14, 2007 issue of Fab Magazine about the way kids are reshaping gay culture. The article focuses on the lives of Shawn Atlee (34) & Bruce Whitaker (43) a couple that have adopted an 8-year-old son), Jay Poitras (30) a single gay man who has found that the single life to be a little more complicated and Tim Wilson (48) an HIV positive single parent.

For Atlee & Whitaker they’ve found that they spend less time venturing into the village since they’ve adopted their 8-year-old son Andrew. They’ve also found that their group of peers have changed. They spend less time with their gay single friends and more time with friends who have children, which usually ends up being heterosexual couples.

It’s at this point in the article that columnist Ted Flett asks whether we are seeing a shift in gay culture now that more men are opting for marriage and having kids.

For Jay Poitras, the pool of single men from which to choose, is becoming increasingly smaller because other single guys may now be factoring in desire to have children when seeking out a mate. While Poitras sometimes feels the urge to be a father, while spending time with younger cousins or neighbourhood children he is quick to distinguish the difference between actually wanting to be a parent and being a parent because it’s expected of you by society at large. He’s not against those gay couples who are choosing to have children, but rather feels that it’s not yet his time to have kids.

The article then delves into the various options for gay couples to have kids i.e. surrogacy vs. adoption and talks about how the adoption process may be slightly more difficult for a gay male couple looking to adopt.

For Wilson, the gay village is probably not the most welcoming place to raise his 3-year-old son Alex. The pair live nearby and often frequent the 519 Community Centre as well as the local shops in the area. Wilson, comments that Church Street isn’t exactly a kid friendly destination with many of the restaurants not having a kids menu and the local parks not being the most inviting. Being older, single and HIV positive, Wilson expected that he’d face a lot of hurdles in the adoption process. Fortunately, he discovered the Children’s Aid Society of Toronto, which has a non-discrimination policy and treats HIV the same as any other chronic manageable illness.

It’s a great read, and definitely touches upon issues that are common to those who are expecting or wanting to be parents whether they are gay or straight. Click on the link to read the article online entitled Out of the disco and into the nursery.